


Tweek the Tease

by Panphoria



Category: South Park
Genre: Child Flirting with an Adult, Comedy, Coming Out, Denial of Feelings, Episode Related, Erections, Flirtacious Children, Homophobic Language, M/M, No Sex, Questioning, Sexual Harassment, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25227949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panphoria/pseuds/Panphoria
Summary: Tweek flirts with Mr. Mackey so that the teacher can sue him for sexual harassment, but why? Based on the Sexual Harassment Panda episode.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Tweek the Tease

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a fic that sat on the back-burner for a while. Enjoy.

It was one of the wildest times in South Park, with kids suing other kids over different remarks that could be viewed as sexual. And at first, Tweek wanted nothing to do with the rising dumpster fire. But over the past few weeks, there was another boy in his class that got his heart pounding like a jackhammer. The thought of them touching, even if it was fist-fights, sent  _ shivers  _ throughout his body.

But Tweek didn’t want to fight, he had a different idea for bringing his feelings into the spotlight instead.

* * *

It was after school hours. Mr. Mackey was getting ready to go home for the day when he heard the door to his office creak open.

“Hello?” Mr. Mackey barely looked over his shoulder, his butt facing Tweek. Perfect.

“Oh my…” Tweek whispered. “Mr. Mackey, did God himself build those ass cheeks?”

“Did  **_what_ ** now?!” Mr. Mackey stood up, turning towards Tweek with a glare that nearly scared the child.

“I m-mean, the sight of your behind is  _ divine,  _ my dear counselor,” Tweek smiled. “If you were to expose them to me, I would die a happy boy.”

“This is got to be a joke, m’kay?” Mr. Mackey groaned. “You do realize that I can just sue you for sexual harassment now, right?”

“I’m kinda counting on that,” Tweek smirked.

“What?” Mr. Mackey gasped. “You’ve got to be kidding. Oh my god, your possessions are all dildos, aren’t they? You would own only dildos, you dildo-havin’ slut.”

Tweek’s cocky smirk didn’t waver, despite him having no idea what the hell his counselor was talking about. His plan was going perfectly, and a case between the two would be scheduled in the courtroom right away.

* * *

“Uh, your Honor, this young man commented on the shape of my ass.”

Tweek fidgeted, feeling the stares of his peers as the judge ruled in favor of Mr. Mackey. He barely heard what the judge was saying, catching Craig giving him off-hand glances. As soon as the case was finished, Tweek walked towards Craig, only to have someone grab his shoulder.

“You’re supposed to take me to your room, so I can collect half your possessions, m’kay?” Mr. Mackey said.

_ “Gah! _ Just f-find my parents, they’ll take you to my room. I’m kinda preoccupied at the moment,” Tweek managed to say.

Fortunately, that got Mr. Mackey to piss off for the time being. Tweek approached Craig, who was still in the courtroom due to a lawsuit against Wendy for touching his thigh.

“Oh, it’s you,” Craig said. “I-”

“See you in class tomorrow, you **fag,”** one of their classmates jeered, roughly pushing Tweek on the shoulder. Tweek shook it off, not wanting anything to take him away from this moment.

“So I guess you know,” Tweek sighed. “I like the male body, _a lot.”_

“But why comment on his butt?” Craig asked. “You know that everyone’s just looking for a reason to file for sexual harassment, so why even say anything? You don’t...like Mr. Mackey, do you?”

“H-Hell no!” Tweek stammered. “I did it cause I w-wanted someone to know that I’m gay.  _ Gah!” _

Tweek fidgeted, blinking several times as he managed to keep his gaze on Craig, trying to read his expression. He could see Craig looking at the ground, slowly putting two and two together.

“And I think they’re gay too,” Tweek gave a hint of a smile, causing Craig to snap up and glare at him.

_ “I’m not gay!”  _ Craig snapped. “Is this some kind of sick prank? Why would you stoop as low as harassing a teacher to do this?”

“And I suppose you were telling the truth about Wendy touching your thigh?” Tweek retorted.

“Of course I was!” Craig responded. “When Wendy touched my thigh during our study session, I never felt so _ repulsed.  _ I wanted to throw up-”

Craig stopped talking, staring at Tweek’s smirk.

“That doesn’t mean I’m gay!” Craig shouted, gaining the attention of several of their classmates.

“Oh my dear Craig,” Tweek smiled, walking up to Craig and touching his cheek with his hand. “Who said I was talking about you?”

Craig stumbled back, realization hitting him like a stack of bricks. He was cornered by his staring classmates, exposed for getting suspiciously defensive about his sexuality. Not to mention, did Tweek have a crush on another boy that wasn’t him? That can’t be right, why would he approach him in the first place?

“Look! Craig’s sportin’ a half-chub!”

Craig felt his skin run cold, looking down and staring at the bulge against his shorts. As more of their classmates gathered around, Craig no longer saw a cocky smirk on his rival’s face. Tweek was...frowning? Why? Isn’t this what he wanted?

Craig gave a shaky middle finger to his classmates before bolting out of the courtroom, and making a beeline for the men’s restrooms. Slamming the bathroom door closed and locking the door, Craig sat on the toilet and buried his face in his hands.

Was he gay? How would he even know, being eight years old? One thing was for sure, he planned on staying the hell away from Tweek Tweak. This encounter scared him more than Tweek’s fists ever could. Noticing the tent in his shorts, he groaned.

_ Tweek is going to be the death of me. _

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel?


End file.
